Today, I want to write about friendships. Friendships are a beautiful thing. When you are young, your friends are the people you discover life with. They shape some aspects of your thinking, they encourage your curiosity. You laugh together, you have sleepovers at each other’s houses. You do life together.
At some point, you start to drift away from your first friends, not because of any wrongdoings, but because you are discovering some other parts of yourself. Truth be told, some friends stick with you through the whole process, you are there for each other’s life moments. But you can’t feel guilty when some friendships become old friendships, for I am learning that friendships could be for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
How lucky is the one who finds friends for a lifetime, they will stick closer than a sister.
Friends should never make you feel guilty for evolving, for growing. Friends should grow with you. They should pull you up and stretch you into becoming a better version of yourself. You should also do the same thing for your friends. In fact, I believe that the best way to have a good friend is to be a good friend. You attract the kind of energy you want by giving it off.
“Twenty children can’t play together for twenty years.” That’s something my chancellor always says. How true are those words! The people you surround yourself with are very important to your success. Recognizing this fact will allow you stop being sentimental about your friendships.
This doesn’t give us a pass to be a bad friends, it makes us people that are constantly learning and applying how to love like real friends because we do not know how long someone is going to be in our life but we know what we want them to remember us for.
“A person who is a true friend, who loved wholly and encouraged me to be my best self.”
We know we will not always get do-overs. We might have not being the best of friends to people in the past. We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it. It has taught us lessons on how to make sure that we are giving as much as we are taking, that we are showing love in a way that is worthy of our calling.
The truth about showing this kind of love in friendships is that no matter how hard you try to choose your friends wisely and be vulnerable to the right set of people, it still comes with the fact that rejection is still possible. But would the fear of rejection stop us from showing love the way we are meant to? Will we let fear determine how intentional we are in our friendships?
You already know the answer, we cannot be controlled by fear.
Fear holds us back from giving ourselves with love in our friendships. We have overcome such fear. In fact, we have overcome all fear. We are not the source of the love we give in our friendships. The source is the love the Father has for us and because of that perfect love, we love wholly not in search of love, but because of the love we have received.
I hope that we become more intentional and present in our friendships.